Shopping Basket
Your Basket is Empty
There was an error with PayPalClick here to try again
CelebrateThank you for your business!You should receive an order confirmation from Paypal shortly.Exit Shopping Basket

Always a Voice

Empowering Survivors of Abuse & Trauma

Thought Spot

Thought Spot

Part II- The Art of Active Healing: Perspective

Posted on 16 August, 2017 at 14:50

During the month of August, we are focusing on learning how to tap into the truth we already have inside us and go all out in what I call a “full-thrive”. We will continue to discuss what it means to walk in strength, peace, power and joy—during our healing process and within the boiling pot of imperfection and pain.


It’s so easy to get imprisoned in the quagmire of what was—of all that happened! Of what we didn’t do. Of what we know we should’ve done. But there is good news!

Anytime we are seeking growth in any area, there are always things we can do to cultivate our goals. It is so important to focus on practical ways we can nurture healing. Remember that every major change is accompanied by hard work and "pre-commitment". And it requires us to change our perspective. But we have to want to.

What is your identity? Is it your pain/trauma? Has being a "victim" crowded out the YOU you were meant to be?

There are many situations in life that are out of our realm and control. Many things are not in our jurisdictions/job descriptions or responsibilities. For example, you can’t make it stop raining. If your home has already been repossessed, any amount of “changing your perspective” is not going to bring it back to you. It is not our decision to make. These unchangeables of life fall outside the box of what we can do.

There are countless unwanted scenarios/memories in each of our lives that we simply cannot change. And most of those hard situations are the cause of our depression and stagnation.

I firmly believe we must live ON PURPOSE. Growth requires planning, plotting and cultivation. Once again: every major change is accompanied by hard work and "pre-commitment". WHY? Because the mere fact that we need a "change" implies that there is already something else that exists...that needs to be re-done, re-worked, eradicated, uprooted, re-born, revitalized...

TODAY'S QUESTION(S): What is it you TRULY want? Do you want to be an overcomer? What is the alternative? Remaining a victim is a choice all survivors have. It is easy to become comfortable with our tag of “victim” and merely survive on the pity of others. Or worse, we can become dependent on the resulting turmoil and unhappiness of our pasts—without even knowing it.

This week as you are pondering your past and struggling to make sense of it all, I invite you to let go. Release the terrible pressure of trying to figure it all out. You are here now—and you are here for a reason! I encourage you to accept the fact that your trauma/abuse was not your choosing. It was not remotely your fault.

As you continue to park here on these thoughts, I encourage you to resist the temptation to blame, fix, tweak or manipulate anything in your mind. That even includes the “fall-out years”, following your abuse/trauma. This “letting go” is nothing more than just breathing in—deeply—and embracing YOU. Your whole self—with the pain. Not inspite of it. Because of it!

Currently I am Mrs. District of Columbia US Continental 2017. When I donned my sash and crown, this did not magically turn me into a queen. Who I am—ME—was not intrinsically altered at that moment. The sash and crown were placed on me. They did not change or define who I already was or who I truly am. In the same way that my sash and crown did not/does not make me a queen, the pain and abuse that was placed on me did not/does not alter who I am. Who I was born to be.

There is a future aspect to this thought. My title as Mrs. District of Columbia does not alter who I was or who I am, but it will alter what I am able to accomplish with my life from here forward. I can choose to use this title as a megaphone to implement change—to be a louder voice to STOP THE SILENCE and perpetuation of sexual abuse and trauma. But that is entirely up to me. In the same way, I can choose to use the abuse/pain I have experienced as tools of change. Because of my life experiences, I possess empathy, compassion and understanding. There is beauty and power in taking back the ground that has been stolen from us!

This is the essense of empowerment!

“Perspective makes all the difference. It’s not what you look at; it’s what you see… Remember that the sun never actually sets; it's our perspective that makes it appear to. Our sunset is another’s sunrise. It's all perspective. How would your life be different if you applied this truth to the things that cause you stress? Letting go isn’t about erasing the past; it’s about looking at the same event and seeing something different. Activate this power in your life! Take the pain and poison of the past and allow it to nourish a new found wisdom. Remember, you can't change the past, but you can change the labels you place on events. Perspective - it’s not what you look at; it’s what you see.” ~ Steve Maraboli

Last week I touched briefly on ACES (Adverse Childhood Experiences) and how they affect our health. Here is an excerpt from last week’s discussion:

“As it pertains to our past abuse, it is truly imperative that we address and embrace our trauma as we would any other major illness, disease or injury. If you were diagnosed with diabetes today, you would be wise to take your diagnosis seriously if you want to live a healthy and happy life. You might be encouraged to make necessary dietary changes or begin an exercise program. You might even join a support group—especially if you were struggling to accept your diagnosis.

Emotional, sexual and/or spiritual abuse are life-altering experiences. These Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACES) are no less traumatic or impactful to our physical bodies than other more physical forms of trauma—such as diabetes and other health-related issues.”

In keeping with the fact that childhood traumas are relevant to our ongoing health, I want to take a moment to stress a very important element. It is of utmost importance for you to have strong, positive mentors in place who can and will assist you. If you haven’t already, I urge you to find a trusted counselor/therapist who can help guide you as you change your perspective and grow in realization and awakening. Seeking help is not weak—it is wise!

It is our natural instinct to love and protect ourselves. The existence of these amazing survival apps within our bodies is the very reason we are struggling to conquer—to erupt—and rise above our painful childhoods or our years of “disconnect”!

Giving yourself permission to change your perspective is one of the most powerful decisions you will ever make. Healing is a process—a journey—and YOU are at the helm of your own progress!

Categories: None

Post a Comment


Oops, you forgot something.


The words you entered did not match the given text. Please try again.

Already a member? Sign In


Reply kobe 9
7:23 on 18 January, 2022 
I together with my pals happened to be reading through the good information from the blog and all of the sudden I had a horrible suspicion I never thanked the site owner for those tips. Most of the boys came absolutely glad to study all of them and have in effect seriously been loving these things. Appreciation for getting indeed helpful and for making a decision on this kind of superior information millions of individuals are really desirous to understand about. Our own sincere regret for not saying thanks to earlier.
kobe 9
Reply supreme clothing
7:22 on 18 January, 2022 
I am also commenting to make you know of the amazing discovery my cousin's daughter developed studying your blog. She realized so many details, including what it is like to have a very effective helping heart to make other individuals clearly comprehend specific complex issues. You truly did more than readers' expected results. Many thanks for giving these useful, trustworthy, revealing and as well as fun thoughts on your topic to Sandra.
supreme clothing
Reply kawhi leonard shoes
7:22 on 18 January, 2022 
I actually wanted to develop a small comment so as to appreciate you for these wonderful secrets you are giving out here. My particularly long internet look up has finally been compensated with good quality details to share with my guests. I would assert that most of us website visitors actually are unequivocally lucky to dwell in a very good place with so many awesome professionals with great tricks. I feel quite grateful to have seen your web pages and look forward to plenty of more amazing minutes reading here. Thanks once more for all the details.
kawhi leonard shoes
Reply curry 8
6:50 on 18 January, 2022 
Thanks a lot for providing individuals with a very brilliant possiblity to read in detail from this web site. It is often so brilliant plus jam-packed with fun for me personally and my office colleagues to search your blog nearly three times in one week to read the new stuff you have got. Not to mention, I'm usually satisfied concerning the awesome secrets you give. Certain two ideas in this posting are easily the finest we've had.
curry 8
Reply bape clothing
0:10 on 18 January, 2022 
Needed to send you one very little note to help thank you as before for all the incredible ideas you have shared in this case. It has been simply strangely open-handed with you to convey publicly all that some people might have made available as an electronic book in order to make some cash on their own, primarily seeing that you could have done it if you considered necessary. The techniques likewise served to be a good way to know that other people online have similar fervor like mine to know more and more on the subject of this issue. I'm sure there are many more enjoyable times in the future for individuals who view your site.
bape clothing
Reply yeezy 700
23:29 on 17 January, 2022 
I want to get across my passion for your kind-heartedness for women who require guidance on this particular issue. Your special commitment to passing the solution all through appeared to be especially important and has always made those like me to attain their aims. Your new insightful information indicates so much a person like me and further more to my colleagues. Best wishes; from each one of us.
yeezy 700
Reply moncler
23:27 on 17 January, 2022 
I in addition to my guys ended up reading through the best helpful tips on your site and then instantly came up with a horrible feeling I had not expressed respect to the blog owner for those strategies. All the guys were definitely absolutely very interested to study all of them and have now honestly been using them. Thank you for really being well considerate and then for deciding upon such fabulous things most people are really wanting to know about. My very own sincere regret for not expressing gratitude to you sooner.
Reply air jordan
23:26 on 17 January, 2022 
I precisely had to say thanks all over again. I am not sure the things I would've used in the absence of these secrets shown by you regarding that area of interest. This was a horrifying issue in my position, but understanding the expert strategy you treated that made me to jump with joy. Extremely thankful for your service as well as believe you realize what an amazing job that you're putting in educating many others thru your blog post. I am sure you've never got to know any of us.
air jordan
Reply jordans
18:46 on 17 January, 2022 
I enjoy you because of your own work on this website. My mum really loves going through research and it's easy to understand why. We all hear all concerning the lively ways you present insightful strategies by means of this web site and as well attract response from the others on this area of interest then our favorite girl is without question studying a lot of things. Take advantage of the remaining portion of the year. You are always carrying out a fantastic job.
Reply supreme hoodie
17:05 on 17 January, 2022 
I simply desired to appreciate you once more. I do not know what I might have sorted out in the absence of the creative ideas shown by you concerning that field. It became a real depressing dilemma in my opinion, however , discovering a new specialized avenue you solved it forced me to cry for delight. Now i am happier for the information and thus hope that you comprehend what a powerful job you were undertaking teaching most people all through your web blog. I am sure you haven't encountered all of us.
supreme hoodie
Reply generic tadalafil from uk
12:20 on 17 January, 2022 
generic tadalafil from uk where to buy tadalafil on line
Reply golden goose sneakers
11:28 on 17 January, 2022 
Thank you so much for providing individuals with a very remarkable possiblity to read in detail from this web site. It is always very good and jam-packed with a great time for me personally and my office peers to visit the blog not less than three times per week to see the newest stuff you have got. And lastly, we are certainly contented concerning the wonderful guidelines you serve. Selected 1 facts in this post are in reality the finest we have all ever had.
golden goose sneakers
Reply off white
11:28 on 17 January, 2022 
I wanted to make a word to be able to express gratitude to you for these remarkable guides you are sharing at this site. My particularly long internet look up has finally been honored with extremely good tips to write about with my classmates and friends. I 'd repeat that most of us readers are quite lucky to exist in a good place with many lovely individuals with insightful strategies. I feel truly privileged to have discovered your web pages and look forward to many more cool minutes reading here. Thank you once again for a lot of things.
off white
Reply supreme hoodie
11:27 on 17 January, 2022 
I'm just commenting to make you know of the exceptional experience my wife's girl encountered browsing your blog. She noticed lots of issues, including what it is like to have an ideal giving mood to have others without problems fully grasp various extremely tough things. You undoubtedly surpassed my expectations. I appreciate you for delivering those interesting, dependable, explanatory and cool guidance on that topic to Jane.
supreme hoodie
Reply jordan 12
11:27 on 17 January, 2022 
I wanted to post you one tiny remark to give thanks again regarding the lovely strategies you've featured on this site. It has been certainly shockingly open-handed of you giving extensively just what many people could possibly have distributed as an e-book to generate some profit for themselves, particularly now that you might well have tried it if you wanted. The guidelines as well worked as a good way to fully grasp that many people have the identical interest much like mine to find out much more when it comes to this matter. I am sure there are numerous more enjoyable instances up front for those who read carefully your site.
jordan 12
Reply steph curry shoes
10:32 on 17 January, 2022 
I wish to voice my respect for your kind-heartedness for those people that should have assistance with this important area of interest. Your very own commitment to passing the message all over was unbelievably productive and has regularly permitted associates just like me to get to their targets. This informative instruction means so much to me and even further to my office colleagues. Many thanks; from all of us.
steph curry shoes
Reply air jordan
8:38 on 17 January, 2022 
I'm also commenting to let you be aware of what a helpful experience my friend's child found reading yuor web blog. She picked up too many pieces, most notably what it is like to possess an amazing teaching style to get men and women quite simply fully grasp specified grueling subject matter. You truly surpassed people's expected results. Thanks for churning out such warm and friendly, trusted, educational not to mention cool guidance on your topic to Julie.
air jordan
Reply kobe sneakers
6:41 on 17 January, 2022 
I precisely had to appreciate you yet again. I do not know the things I could possibly have tried without these tips shared by you over such situation. It absolutely was a hard circumstance in my circumstances, nevertheless observing the very skilled mode you processed it took me to weep for contentment. Now i'm happy for this information and in addition pray you find out what a great job your are putting in training people today with the aid of your webblog. I am certain you have never got to know all of us.
kobe sneakers
Reply moncler
5:52 on 17 January, 2022 
I really wanted to write down a simple comment in order to thank you for these remarkable solutions you are giving out on this site. My time consuming internet lookup has now been rewarded with useful strategies to talk about with my two friends. I would assume that many of us website visitors actually are extremely fortunate to exist in a superb place with many perfect individuals with great basics. I feel really lucky to have used your entire website and look forward to tons of more entertaining minutes reading here. Thank you once more for all the details.
Reply golden goose
4:35 on 17 January, 2022 
I must voice my respect for your generosity giving support to persons who really need help with the concern. Your very own commitment to passing the solution all around had become exceedingly beneficial and have in every case helped professionals much like me to attain their targets. This warm and friendly tutorial indicates so much to me and still more to my peers. Warm regards; from all of us.
golden goose