Shopping Basket
Your Basket is Empty
Quantity:
Subtotal
Taxes
Delivery
Total
There was an error with PayPalClick here to try again
CelebrateThank you for your business!You should receive an order confirmation from Paypal shortly.Exit Shopping Basket

Always a Voice

Empowering Survivors of Abuse & Trauma

Thought Spot

Thought Spot

TRIGGERS

Posted on 16 September, 2016 at 8:45


~By Teddy M.


On this day, 15 years after the terrorist attacks on September 11, I face an almost overwhelming weight of thoughts, memories and emotions. As a firefighter at the time I remember the horror of watching the World Trade Center towers collapse, and being familiar with firefighting tactics, I knew there were hundreds of firefighters still in those buildings. As it turned out there were 343, and I still feel that pain.


As a military member at that time, sitting in the command room of my military unit we watched the news reports that morning. With the growing realization that the events we were watching were a result of an attack by enemies of my country, I felt a profound sense of failure; a shared failure to protect my citizens from attack by “all enemies foreign and domestic” as I’d sworn to do. I still feel that failure. As I flew on a military aircraft that night transporting rescue teams to New York I remember feeling that I was a small part of an effort to rectify that failure. When I deployed to Iraq and Afghanistan I remember feeling that I was attempting a small amount of atonement for that failure.


This time of year is a time of triggers for me. Everywhere I turn are reminders of the horrors I witnessed, and the damage, the death and the horrors I helped to create; I am reminded of the people. I am reminded of the men and women I watched return home in boxes. I am reminded of people like my friend Ricky who, unable to cope with their overwhelming emotions, decided to end their lives.


Most of the time the techniques I’ve learned to stay ahead of my symptoms, to stay ahead of the depression, work pretty well. But this time of year is a time of triggers for me and I know that although I will get through it, I also know this is a time of nightmares and sleepless nights.

Categories: None

Post a Comment

Oops!

Oops, you forgot something.

Oops!

The words you entered did not match the given text. Please try again.

Already a member? Sign In

1991 Comments

Reply rupulu
17:22 on 7 August, 2022 
rangers lundqvist jersey retirement 2 heart tiffanys necklace moncler lightweight jacket womens draped wedding dress with sleeves
rupulu http://www.rupulu.com/
Reply Nrfxtweli
16:23 on 7 August, 2022 
Hyzaar Eldepryl Viagra with Dapoxetine
Reply alucram
10:16 on 7 August, 2022 
pittsburgh pirates hat lids yamaha juventus shiny kit moncler chouette black midi suspender skirt
alucram http://www.alucram.com/
Reply tobiconnors
22:10 on 6 August, 2022 
lions salute to service hat pink and white michael kors crossbody stan smith hulk thor psycho bunny long sleeve polo brixton joanna visor hat valentino rockstud heels blue
tobiconnors http://www.tobiconnors.com/
Reply lsdmuzic
16:37 on 6 August, 2022 
boys moncler vest blue eyelet dress tampa bay buccaneers new uniforms
lsdmuzic http://www.lsdmuzic.com/
Reply veskopetrov
15:06 on 6 August, 2022 
moncler vosges jordan 1 off white collab neck collar designs for kurti oakley crankshaft oo9239 chanel wedding dress 2020 adidas originals samba super grey
veskopetrov http://www.veskopetrov.com/
Reply westwoodcpr
11:21 on 6 August, 2022 
moncler vosges jordan 1 off white collab neck collar designs for kurti oakley crankshaft oo9239 chanel wedding dress 2020 adidas originals samba super grey
westwoodcpr http://www.westwoodcpr.com/
Reply tabamachine
10:24 on 6 August, 2022 
salmon pink cocktail dress cut loose clothing website pittsburgh penguins trucker hat for eu limited peyton manning womens jersey denver broncos 18 zebra field flirt white super bowl 50 bound nfl texas rangers hats walmart zionsville in adidas nemeziz 17.1 grey and grey
tabamachine http://www.tabamachine.com/
Reply bcsarts
2:36 on 6 August, 2022 
rose boho dress jordan 12 french blue pre order liverpool jersey 2019 long sleeve
bcsarts http://www.bcsarts.com/
Reply hotelsoham
20:44 on 5 August, 2022 
kansas city royals bling hats 80s michael kors emry pandora essence beaded necklace kansas city royals sky blue hat group mk laptop backpack
hotelsoham http://www.hotelsoham.com/
Reply AfgoSnoto
20:20 on 5 August, 2022 
cialis paypall order cialis soft tabs cialis peru
Reply muadotho
19:58 on 5 August, 2022 
best flapper dresses christmas baby clothes girl barbour carlton beanie green avatar caps running shoes outfit retro nissan hat
muadotho http://www.muadotho.com/
Reply fracingsand
19:04 on 5 August, 2022 
superga platform fashion sneakers enzoani neda ray ban send prescription maxi dress halter neck
fracingsand http://www.fracingsand.com/
Reply catiewithac
16:39 on 5 August, 2022 
cable knit newsboy cap pattern download long sleeve golf polo mens miami hurricanes zephyr ncaa big rig mesh cap tbdress plus size maxi dresses the hundreds rose hat for sale near me
catiewithac http://www.catiewithac.com/
Reply gtrelarm
9:38 on 5 August, 2022 
superga platform fashion sneakers enzoani neda ray ban send prescription maxi dress halter neck
gtrelarm http://www.gtrelarm.com/
Reply profprsites
3:58 on 5 August, 2022 
buffalo plaid beanie with pom celtic fc tracksuit bottoms raglan sleeve tie front flare satin dress north face kilowatt jacket polo ralph lauren jeans sale moncler winter coat
profprsites http://www.profprsites.com/
Reply Estebanrap
21:18 on 4 August, 2022 
250mg amoxicillin capsules
Reply Wrbhzogue
4:26 on 4 August, 2022 
cheap viagra paypal brand name viagra canada female cialis
Reply covid pill
2:55 on 4 August, 2022 
molnupiravir buy online pill to cure covid molnupiravir kaufen amazon molnupiravir 400mg
Reply RodneySusia
2:22 on 4 August, 2022 
medication atenolol 50 mg