Category: Abuse & Trauma

~by Jillian Short

I’ve carried Yesterday for so long

I reel under It’s weight

My fingers are so stiff

I can’t let It go

It’s become who I am

When It’s too heavy to carry

I drag It behind me

I can’t get loose

I hear Today’s voice

Gently bold—barely discernable

You are beautiful. Precious

Come up higher!

Above the noise—above Yesterday

From up here, you can see

Past Yesterday’s brambles

To the majestic purple mountains

I can’t put Yesterday down

I try but It crowds back in

When I least expect it

It taps me on the shoulder

Reminding me of where I’ve been

Vying for the upper hand

Tainting Today

Clouding Tomorrow

Who am I to confront It?

Who do I think I am?

Am I allowed to be happy?

Do I deserve to leave It behind?

I clutch tighter and fall asleep again

I revisit the sad things

And drive on auto-pilot

I don’t want to be sad anymore

I hear Today’s voice 

Willing me to believe

Showing me the little things

Beckoning me to rise up

You can do this!

Yesterday has no jurisdiction here

You are precious and worthy

Lay it down

I dab the tears

With resolve I stand to my feet

It’s time to make a change

Time to laugh a little

I don’t feel very strong

But I’m ready to be ready

Are Baby Steps ok?

Baby steps are the only way!  

I don’t know how to fully let go!

The memories hurt

When will the pain go away?

Let it slip down gently

Don’t rush it

One step at a time

Feel it slipping out of your hands?

It’s ok to let go

My strength surprises me

I take another baby step

Yesterday recedes a little more

Calmness slowly clears my head

Letting go of what is not mine

I realize I am breathing deeply

Today is mine

Being still—deep in my soul

Today feels good

I look in the mirror

I’m different now

This is the Today me

My eyes are older

I see things clearer

Smiling means so much more

Today feels good

********************

What will I do now

Without Yesterday weighing me down?

ANYTHING I WANT!